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Break Up

Luckily, this happened to me only once. Yet, it’s a rather doubtful experience to overcome. I was seeing a man. Once, I went to the bathroom to wash my hands. A dyed black hair was on the sink (Not family related hair!). I became paralyzed. Then, I looked at the floor next to the sink. There were the same hair as if someone was brushing. I didn’t have any questions in my head like, who’s, why, how. I was totally paralyzed, I couldn’t move, I didn’t want to move. I wanted to vanish. It was like watching a drama movie.

My brain immediately gave me the answer to the accident. I just couldn’t believe. I didn’t want to believe. He couldn’t do that. He is not like that.

Finally, I left the bathroom and asked wtf. The answer was amazing – it’s your hair. Clearly, it was NOT. After some time, there was another explanation, lame one, fake one. And more hair to be found.

With all the information on the surface, I was still in denial for some time. I refused to acknowledge.

Shortly after, it was over.

I am happy I did not blame myself. I didn’t wonder what is wrong with me. I know the answer – nothing! If someone else has issues, it is not my problem. Just, I don’t want to get involved into any dirt.

This sh@ty story made value myself, take care of myself, listen to myself, prioritize myself over anything else. The lesson was unpleasant, but I am a good student.

Did you ever face anything like that?

5 thoughts on “Break Up

  1. Yes, I understand totally. One day many years ago I was coming home from college, and while turning the corner to my street there was my wife walking and kissing our neighbor.

    For 4 years this had been going on. I felt so stupid, so useless. It took a long time to get past that.

    Thanks for sharing. You are the one at the top.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Sorry to here! No one is ever ready for this, no one is ever fine with this. And this everlasting question in the head WTF!?
      But it’s past, time takes away unpleasant feelings.


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